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The LieHow could you be so thoughtless and cruel?
Making me believe that we were cool?
You asked for forgiveness for how you treated me
And I gave it to you, but how could I not see?
You never meant a word you said
And continued to treat me like I was dead
All the while I was so blind
Happily living as you left me behind
Making me feel foolish for forgiving you
Believing your apology was genuine and true
Giving you the benefit of the doubt
Only to have you rip my bleeding heart out
Some friendship we have, so full of hate
What did I ever do to deserve such a fate?
To be left looking in from the outside
Just because you can't get past your pride
Well, who needs you and your stupid lies?
I don't need your fake smiles and hateful eyes
Don't come crawling back when your heart breaks again
Because as of now, I'm no longer our friend
Why be your friend when you don't want to be mine?
The sun doesn't need you to brightly shine
And I don't need you to lie to my face
So just leave me alone and give me
Cutting the Strings
All my life, people have been telling me what to do. When you're little, you don't question it. It's how you grow and learn how to become an adult. It's how you learn how to survive in the world; how you learn who you want to become. And it's great of them to be so kind as to show me those things. I appreciate all the things that they can teach me to make me a better person. But at some point they also have to learn something: how to let me go.
But I guess that's the hardest thing they ever have to do especially between blood relations. Because my family seems to have a big problem doing so. They still try to tell me what to do; control my life in a way. It's like I'm the puppet and they're the puppet masters. They pull the strings and I follow obediently. I danced for them, walked for them, sang for them. I am under their control. When they're done with me, I'm thrown away into the far corners of their mind, awaiting to be picked up again when they need entertainment or some
People deal with anger in different ways. Most people have the urge to talk about it or just punch something or someone until said person felt better. Me, I say nothing and plaster on that all too familiar smile that everyone never sees me without. All that anger and frustration just stays inside of me until it results in an uncharacteristic act such as punching an inanimate object (I can't seem to force myself to punch a living person outside of play) or lashing out in an explosive manner. Is it safe and healthy to do that? No. Is that the only way I can deal with my emotions? Yes.
The way I see it, people have their own problems without my own to add to it. So I don't bother bitching and moaning about my problems. Because no solution will ever come out of it. At least that is my belief. Philosophers and what not seem to believe that expressing one's feelings and emotions is a healthy way to relieve the body of pent up stress and pressure. Yeah, pressure. My body's just ch
Let Me LiveI'm eighteen years old and still I can't date
Don't know how long I can live in this state
Yet there's no prob when big bro brings someone home
You smile and praise him in a joyous tone
Such unfairness I cannot express with speech
“Not until you're outta college” you always preach
But big bro never has to answer to you
Then I get so mad I don't know what to do
I thought you were different, thought you'd understand
I'm freakin tired of you, mom, always holding my hand
I'm tired of the double standard that's plagued my life
Its not like I'd marry at eighteen and forever be his wife
Just let me live my life and set me free
Trusting my common sense is the main key
I promise I'll be careful and make you proud
But give me a chance to rise above the crowd
He's a guy and I’m a girl; an obvious fact
But you can't treat me differently just cuz of that
Its unfair and you know it to be wrong
I've been patient about it for way too long
Don't make me rebel when I don't really want
Making It End
This is a story of deception
My innocence was at stake
That night I made my decision
The next day I realized my mistake
The days went on and on
I waited for him to call
Slowly I became thinner
Until I was nothing at all
After that night I felt nothing
All my feelings were dead
I didn't care what anyone thought
Didn't care what they said
From then on my life went downward
Into a very dark place
A place where I had no feelings
And where I had no face
It's been years since that night
My heart I couldn't mend
I tell you this story so you'd know
Why my life had to end
Look and you'll see
The hatred in their eyes
They are never caring
And they are never wise
If you look through their eyes
All they see in the color of your skin
They don't care what you think
Or that everyone's the same within
There's nothing they can do to stop
No matter how hard you try
They love to make us victims
To a point where we can only cry
I'll never understand them
Or why they feel the way they feel
I just look at them strangely
And think, "Are they for real?"
There's something you can do
Don't pass it to your kin
The only way it will end
Is to stop it before it begins
Lessons of College
Lessons that I’ve learned my first year of college:
1. never procrastinate no matter how much of an expert you think you are...
2. changing the font style can make a paper go from being two pages to four...
3. putting quotes around an entire article cuts down on typing space...
4. no matter how much you think you like a major, you'll end up changing it so you can get out to school quicker...
5. taking unscheduled days off of school is a must...
6. there is such a class as badminton...
7. the teachers don't bother to learn your names so why bother learning theirs?...
8. anything that involves protesting on the school lawn implies that you bring a huge umbrella as there is a good chance that you'll either get hosed or rained on...
9. there will be a conference, meeting, or seminar about any and every sexual subject that you can think of...(ie. drag queen fashion shows, gay & lesbian coming out gathering, etc.)...
10. you will make fun of almost everyone you see because you c
Keep in Touch!
scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More